Trust us when we say that we know there are a lot of d-bags out there.
You know the type: guys with a perpetual ‘grass is greener’ mentality. Guys who criticize like it’s a sport, and guys who make you feel like you’re waving your hands in their face just to get them to notice you. Oh, and then there’s the type who make you feel like you’re constantly auditioning to be their girlfriend (let alone their wife).
But what we’ve discovered along the dating way is that if he doesn’t live up to these 9 seemingly simple standards, he’s the one not worth keeping around for the long haul.
Listen up ladies: these are the top 9 qualities you need to find in the man you’re going to marry:
1. He makes you feel beautiful
If guys only knew how much they’d get in return by a simple compliment here and there about how great our hair looks, how much he loves our new dress and the way it hugs our curves, or even just by offering a smile when our hair’s in a messy topknot and we’re on the couch in sweatpants. Even a simple, “hello, beautiful” on the phone can make our day. And make you a keeper.
2. He’s your best friend
You have as much fun hanging out with him as you do your girlfriends and best guy friends. From a spontaneous road trip, to a wine bar hop across the city – you know you’ll have quality laugh-filled fun, even if it’s just the two of you. And you always will, even when you’re one day racing wheelchairs in a (fancy) nursing home.
3. He keeps you calm
As women, we’re known to let our emotions guide us from time to time (for those who don’t, major points for you). We’ll be the first to admit that. But a guy who has a calming effect to his presence – either from the assurance we get that we’re the one for him or just his overall demeanor – is attractive (and emotionally stabilizing) to us.
4. You have great chemistry
Not that we need to tell you, but a healthy sex life is a must. You just can’t sustain a relationship if you’re already pretending to be asleep on the regular. When you’re super attracted to one another, there is no desire to even think of straying (on either part). That’s why you keep it active, adventurous, and peppered with intensely intimate moments too. But chemistry goes beyond the bedroom -it’s also about keeping one another stimulated creatively and mentally.
5. You don’t fear he’ll ever ‘trade you in’ for a newer model
You know that he’ll be there holding your wrinkly hand for years to come. Even when your boobs aren’t as perky, eyes aren’t as bright, and hair isn’t as long and glossy, you know he’ll still be there because he actually loves you for reasons well beyond the superficial.
6. He finds your flaws endearing rather than annoying
From the fact that you’re ‘kind of a disaster’ in the kitchen to your chronic indecisiveness, the guy who deserves to marry you finds all of your apparent ‘imperfections’ more endearing than annoying. That’s why he doesn’t constantly criticize or pick you apart for them. After all, he has more than a handful of his own peccadillos that you put up with…
7. You’re not afraid he’ll judge you if you breakdown in front of him
Life is tough. You’d be hard-pressed to find a YP who hasn’t experienced some form of tragedy in their lives up to this point. And life doesn’t get any easier in that department. Not to bring up the unpleasant, but you need to know that the guy you marry will be there for you in your darkest moments of despair, let you crumble in his arms and do everything he can to put you back together. ‘Cause you’d do the same for him (obviously).
8. You can just tell he’ll make a good dad
And it isn’t based on how well he treats his dog (trust us ladies, that means nothing). He’s compassionate, well rounded, and discusses kids as though he’s genuinely excited to have them – whenever that time may come. This is, of course, opposed to the guy who dreads the day he’ll have to give up his wild nights out that last until the morning, is sickened by the sight of his nephew’s diaper, angry that he lost a wingman when his best friend had a kid, and is researching pimped out bachelor pads as we speak.
9. You can pee with the door open
Ok, so maybe all females aren’t as comfortable with this concept as we are. But the point is that you need to have that degree of unconditional comfort with one another. This means the ability to be yourself (with those faults and all) and to be able to discuss anything open and honestly.